2021 message to supporters of the NLRF

Dear Family & Friends,

We hope this letter finds you well—no easy task in 2020 or 2021!

As we approach the 8th anniversary of Noah’s death on March 19, 2021, we’re reminded of other dates and deaths and what a tumultuous year this has been. On March 18 last year, we were remembering Noah in a beach town he loved as the California “stay-at-home” orders were announced. On February 22 of this year, the U.S. reached 500,000 COVID deaths—losses that affect millions of Americans, as Susan’s blog discusses. Though data on suicide for 2020 are not yet available, mental health needs and calls to crisis lines have spiked during the pandemic, especially among young people.

More than ever, nonprofit organizations like those the Fund supports need our help– whether aiding people in crisis or enriching lives with activities like those Noah loved. We’ve increased our grants to groups like National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), which supports people living with mental illness and their families, and the Jed Foundation, which promotes mental wellness and suicide prevention for college students. And we’ve committed to sustaining organizations like American Field Service international exchange and Outward Bound California as they adapt to the challenges of COVID times and beyond. You can see our list of grantees here.

If you already contribute to the Fund, we’re so grateful. If not, please consider donating online here or send a check to the Noah Langholz Remembrance Fund, 1931 New York Dr., Altadena CA 91001. Thank you so much for helping us to remember Noah and to do good in his name. May you and yours stay safe and soon return to the people, places and activities you miss.

With appreciation,

Susan Auerbach & Bryan Langholz

Noah Langholz Remembrance Fund


Juggle Fest! 2018 in Memory of Noah Langholz

Juggle Fest! 2018 in Memory of Noah Langholz was a great success and a lot of fun! (For a juggling festival, that’s redundant, isn’t it?)  The event was sponsored by the South Pasadena Juggling Club as a benefit for the Fund and took place at the Pasadena Jewish Temple and Center on Sunday, June 24.

By day, the event drew more than 50 participants of all ages from the Los Angeles area, as well as Orange County, Ventura, and Santa Barbara for open juggling and workshops.They spent hours not only throwing balls and clubs in the air in complicated patterns, but also rings, diablos, hoops, boxes, sticks, poi. They also had fun with unicycles, tight rope, partner acrobatics, and a table full of puzzles and brain-teasers, while perfecting the art of balancing machetes on their chins. The Facebook event page has more photos, check it out! 

In the evening, an audience of 80 enjoyed the public show, MCed by the Cohen
brothers, twins known for their acts on Seinfeldand elsewhere. Amateurs and professionals performed with a variety of props, including a third leg and a
stuffed puppy. East-side Acra-Yoga combined juggling with acro-yoga and partner acrobatics, while Jack Kalvin got an audience volunteer spinning giant balls on their fingers and heads.

    The evening opened with a speech and slide show by Bryan highlighting Noah’s love of juggling when he was a young teen. Many in the audience had taught Noah tricks or enjoyed passing patterns with him at festivals over the years. You can see the slide show with short video clips here. It was both gratifying and incredibly sad for us to share memories of Noah’s juggling days with the public a few days before what would have been his 27thbirthday.

The event raised over $1000 for the Fund and we are grateful to the South Pasadena Juggling Club, the Pasadena Jewish Temple and Center, and to all those volunteered, performed and donated. Many thanks!

Juggling Festival and Show to be held in memory of Noah on Sunday June 24, 2018

The South Pasadena Juggling Club will be hosting the all day event (10AM-10PM) at the Pasadena Jewish Temple and Center. A public show, where performers can show their stuff, takes place 7:30-9:00PM. The event is free, but donations to the Noah Langholz Remembrance Fund will be appreciated. See the Facebook event page for more information.


Healing the Broken Jewish Soul After a Child’s Suicide: An Illustrated Book Talk

Susan Auerbach discusses Jewish themes from her grief memoir, I’ll Write Your Name on Every Beach, to show how ritual, text, and spiritual practice became resources for coping with traumatic loss. Her talk offers insight and inspiration both to those who have suffered traumatic loss and to those who wish to understand and help loss survivors. Books will be available for sale and signing after the talk.
Friday, April 27, 2018 7pm after 6:30pm Shabbat service
Beth Shir Shalom Congregation
1827 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA 90403
Sponsored by BSS as part of Jewish Wisdom and Wellness: A Festival of Learning – all welcome
Preview at https://vimeo.com/260508906

I’ll Write Your Name on Every Beach by Susan Auerbach

One of the ways in which Susan has been working through the grief caused by Noah’s suicide was through her writing, first through a blog, then by writing a grief memoir.  “I’ll Write Your Name in Every Beach: A Mother’s Quest for Comfort, Courage and Clarity After Suicide Loss” (Jessica Kingsley Publishers) chronicles the first few years of heartache and healing after losing Noah, to suicide. It blends my story with quotes from experts, original poetry, and soothing mind-body exercises to bring light and inspiration to the suicide grief journey. It’s meant for those who have lost loved ones to suicide (loss survivors) and those who care for and work with them, like friends, therapists, and clergy. Psychologist John Jordan, an expert in suicide grief, writes, “This eloquent story of one mother’s efforts to find her way after the death of her son by suicide will help you navigate your own painful journey towards peace.” You can read more about the book and order it through my website  or through your preferred source. All proceeds from book sales will go to the Noah Langholz Remembrance Fund. Please help spread the word about this book through social media and reviews – thanks so much!

Grantee profile: Outward Bound California

April 10, 2017

I met Vanessa Baker yesterday, a representative from Outward Bound California. This organization puts together trips for young people to go backpacking, rock-climbing, kayaking, and other activities where they learn skills to enjoy the outdoors. She told me some of the history of Outward Bound. The organization was founded in 1941 in Great Britain by British shipping magnate Sir Lawrence Holt and German educator Kurt Hahn with the idea of preparing young sailors for the rigors of life at sea. The name Outward Bound refers to the nautical term to describe the moment a ship leaves harbor. I read a little about Kurt Hahn. He was an Oxford educated educator in Germany who openly criticized Hilter in 1933, after a young communist was killed by storm troopers. He was forced to leave Germany and settled in Britain. Kurt’s educational philosophy includes respect for adolescents and providing them with opportunities for self-discovery through adventure, in particular, outdoor adventure.

The OB website summarizes their mission as “that every person should be given the opportunity to experience adventure and challenge, develop character and compassion, and learn social and environmental responsibility, regardless of financial ability.” Vanessa told me about the approached used during the wildness experience that practices wilderness survival skills, encourages teamwork and self-confidence, and progressively gives students the responsibility for running the show.

While Noah never participated in the Outward Bound program, he did go on two wilderness trips organized by Adventure Treks, a LA based wilderness experience organization for teens that has much the same philosophy as OB. Noah did the California and Northwest wilderness trips when he was 12 and 13. In Noah style, he was critical of many of the kids who couldn’t leave home behind and felt he learned a lot from the experienced outdoor guides. I believe that during the Adventure Trek trips, he found out that he was physically capable and enjoyed the challenge of rising early and climbing to the top of Mt Saint Helens. He also did learn a variety of outdoor skills including backpacking, kayaking, and rock climbing.

The Outward Bound Pinnacle Scholarship Program provides free tuition for youth from families that can’t afford the cost to participate in a 14 to 20 day Wilderness Course in the Sierras. In 2016, we funded two of these that will be awarded this year.

Noah’s 25th Birthday

On June 28th, 2016, Noah would have been 25. To mark the occasion, we are having a gathering of his friends and relatives to celebrate his life. It will also be the official public announcement of the Noah Langholz Remembrance Fund, a non-profit charitable corporation, to support charitable causes in his name.